Chicago seems very rainforest-like lately. It rains almost every morning now, sometimes the afternoon breaking way to blue skies and a warm sun, sometimes pitter-patting with drizzle the rest of the day. This morning I walked Charlie around the block and couldn’t get over how green and lush everything seemed- a small reward for waking up every morning to an overcast sky.
It’s been a little harder to wake up these days and the sky doesn’t help matters. I’m heading into Month Eight of unemployment, the second (and final) draft of my first novel is done, and I’m starting to get that Look from people. That “are you really still unemployed” Look. That slightly judging smudge of a look that I’m sure all of my fellow English majors are getting these days. English majors are always the first to go in a recession, don’t you know? The first to go and the last to be drawn into the workforce. “We can manage with writing our own copy, thanks. Maybe you should think about doing something else. What about law school?”
This past week I’ve tried to refocus. I’ve gone so far as to pull my self-help books out from the shelf, dust them off and set them on my nightstand. I looked over my goals and priorities once more, adjusting, tweaking. I’ve set aside my expectations that the most unlikely of scenarios will play out- that I’ll sell my first book and be in the clear, that my revamped resume with all of its “action words” can rest in the drawer a while longer and the bills will be paid and I can continue on this way with that damned monkey finally off my back.
It’s tough to tell whether the afternoon will give way to the sun or yet more rain but I’m holding out hope. It’s all I can really do, after all.