Well, HELLO

5 Guys

This one is pretty standard- you might best remember it as the list Ross had laminated in his wallet on “Friends.” My feeling is- why do couples only get to have a list? Surely, I should have one too, just in case No. 1-5 and/or my wild card pops into the coffeehouse while I’m sitting around, talking about Hootie and the Blowfish with all my friends over a poppyseed muffin and a cup of joe.

Note- to all my single guy friends- yes, some of these guys are married. I don’t know why you always deem it necessary to point that out when I mention that someone like, say, Dennis Quaid is just getting hotter with age. “He’s married, you know.” Clearly that’s the ONLY thing keeping me and Dennis Quaid apart, his marital status. Thanks for letting me down easy. (Dear Dennis- in case you like blogs and you’re reading this, you just barely missed being on my list. You are my Isabellla Rosselini. Love, Me)

1. Ewan McGregor

OUT910252Why: Motorcycles, hot tattoos, dreamy accent, and he seems to realize the first two Star Wars movies he made were total garbage. I could make a pretty saucy “Long Way Down” joke but I won’t. This is a classy list.

2. Jack White

jack-white-1-thumbWhy: There’s always that guy who doesn’t fit your usual type but turns your knees to jelly anyway. The guitar helps. The voice helps. The talent isn’t too bad either. Jack White just kills me, kills me. I will sit through all of Cold Mountain again for him.

3. Shia LaBeouf

shia-labeouf-distr1Why: Am I going to jail for this one? I don’t care. Shia bumped Justin Timberlake from this spot but they share a few similar sex appeal qualities- humor, an appreciation for hard work, and buckets of charm. Shia edges out over JT for being just a little more down to earth these days. As down to earth as the son of Indiana Jones can be anyway.

4. James Franco

jamesfranco2an8Why: I think we can all agree I don’t need to explain myself on this one. Ok, fine- brains (an actor who actually went to college), good taste (Freaks and Geeks), a writer and, well, he’s our James Dean.

5. John Cusack

john-cusackWhy: In our house growing up, John Cusack was what you might call The Gold Standard. He still is and to prove it, I will reveal to you that I actually saw “Martian Child” in the theater (it was terrible). If John Cusack appeared outside my door today, in the rain, let’s just say I’d be handing over my heart and not just a pen.

Wild Card: George Clooney

george_clooney_swimming_mid_air_jumpWhy: Um, because he’s George Clooney. And this picture makes me laugh.

Anybody make you go weak in the knees?

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6 Responses to Well, HELLO

  1. P. says:

    Oh god, I really, really hate it when someone gets all practical when I talk about fantasy boyfriends. THROW ME A BONE HERE, PEOPLE. So I’m with you on Jimmy D and Ewan. I just love that Ewan sings and he has those sparkly eyes and is as cute as a button. Don’t you just want to put him in your pocket or whatever?

    I would add: Steve Carrell. Clive Owen. Ricky Gervais (physical questionable but looks are not everything.)

  2. Karen says:

    JACK WHITE?!! Not what I would have expected.

    And we clearly all agree that the whole “but he’s married!” thing does NOT count. Like you said, the marital status is not the only issue standing in the way…

    I’d have Ryan Gosling, Paul Rudd, Edward Norton on my list, if you’re wondering!

  3. ollieoof says:

    I know. JW looks kind of out of place up there. I CANNOT EXPLAIN IT.

  4. Grass House says:

    Ewan and Shia are on my list too! Let’s agree not to fight over them shall we? Because you know it’s totally possible that one of them will show up at the coffee house when we are both there!

  5. Liz says:

    God I love Shia. He is 22 and that ain’t no crime.

  6. Ophelia22 says:

    Um, HELLO?!?!?! who WOULDN’T have Jack White on their list?? The deep brown eyes, the DIMPLES, the BICEPS, the long hair, the talent – omg, SWOON!!!! I have always been in love with him and always will be!

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