I’m feeling oddly upbeat today. The good cheer I work terribly hard to create in my own head actually appeared on its own accord, with no prompting from me whatsover.
It’s kind of like when you start running because everyone says you feel amazing after you run, only to find that every day you come home winded and awful and you have a stomach ache and you want to die. But you keep at it until, one day, out of the blue, you find you can sprint home and you feel powerful and strong, like you could run forever.
I don’t know what’s brought this feeling today (Friday? Extra strong coffee this morning?) on but I’m going to hold on with both hands for as long as I can.
Things I’m Happy About Today
– I saw this movie.
– This morning I got out of the shower and thought about how great it would be to start really working out and get into shape and not because I hate myself or the way I look but because of how it will make me feel. Strong and solid and good. Do you know how HUGE that moment was for me? I’ve been struggling with my weight and body issues since I was eleven years old. I just sat on the bed, marveling at how amazing it feels to appreciate myself the way I am, to not want to change for anyone but myself. So THIS is why women look forward to their thirties.
– Bacon-wrapped for shrimp for lunch. A little carb-free treat since I’ve stayed on track for South Beach this week (I reiterate- supporting my mother, culinary/wellness challenge, not weighing myself or caring remotely about poundage).
– I’ve hit my stride with editing my book. See above paragraph on running.
– I think I want to move here next. When my time in Chicago is done, that is. (We’ve got some living to do yet, Chicago and I. Never fear.)
– This morning, I walked Charlie under a starkly cold, drizzly, white sky and I wondered if Chicago has even HEARD of spring. And now? The sun’s out. Obviously, someone’s listening. I’m sure it’s still cold though.I’m happy but I’m not Jesus.