Eating Well is The Best Revenge

When in doubt, there's always "the model diet."

When in doubt, there's always "the model diet."

Oh, CONES. First of all, I think I made it perfectly clear that I’m doing South Beach as more of a culinary/wellness challenge as opposed to a weight-loss measure. Not to mention providing my mother with serious support. I also think you need to read this (Hint- someone read “French Women Don’t Get Fat” fii-rst, as in last January. BOOM.)

Secondly, I find it somewhat hilarious that “someone” who once went a little crazy on the raw-food craze is trying to taunt ME with delicious olive oil crackers. As for the hummus, I plan on making it during Week Three. So there.

Thirdly, I’m happy to report that your dastardly plan did not work and Day Two is going swimmingly. I also got ahead of myself yesterday and I already put the kibbosh on my bread craving, one day ahead of schedule. Bread? What bread? I spit in its general direction. Here’s a look at today’s menu, just in case you think I’m sitting here, shivering over a cup of hot lemon water.


Egg white omelet with sauteed, garlicky spinach and a dusting of fresh Parmesan cheese. Black coffee.


Salad Scampi- cooked shrimp in a light lemon sauce over a bed of fresh arugula.


Slices of fresh cucumber


Grilled talapia with lemon and thyme over oven-roasted broccoli.


1) If I hadn’t miraculously taught myself how to cook in the past year, I would’ve killed myself as of 8 o’clock last night. So you’re partly right. Diets like this don’t work if you torture yourself with a plate of celery as a snack and try to convince yourself you wouldn’t rather eat a tub of icing. (Partial conclusion- I forgot how much I LOVE fish. Seriously, I have been wasting my time on overpriced chicken breast.)

2) Everything you eat sounds better when you make it look like a menu and add the right adjectives.

3) Culinary exercises like these are no different than training for a marathon or going to, you know, boot camp. Just takes a lot of discipline, willpower and the right motivation. Also, this is much healthier than that maple syrup-Cayenne pepper cleanse thing we all did in LA. Yuck.

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