My mother called me about a week ago with a request- would I do the South Beach diet with her?
Other daughters might immediately fall into a total mind spiral over this- “Is she saying I need to go on a diet?” But my mom knows my stance on dieting, knows that I’ve given up the war. Really, she asked because, frankly, I kick ass on the South Beach diet. I’m super strict about those first two weeks. She wants me to do it with her because I’ll help her stay on track.
At least, that’s the line I’ve fed myself.
At first, I said no. No, no, no. I’d given up that life- the weighing, the counting, the agonizing. I’ve played the yo-yo game since I was fourteen years old and I’ve finally gotten to a place of acceptance and happiness with my relatively healthy, 160 lb body. I cook fresh food, I exercise. I enjoy food. I enjoy bread. I’m actually pretty sure bread and I are MFEO. I had no desire to revisit that part of my life.
And then I felt guilty. “This isn’t about you,” I chastised myself over a few Golden Girls reruns and a bottle of wine. “She asked you for help, that’s all. This doesn’t have to be a big deal.” So I called her up and told her I’d do it but on two conditions- I would not weigh myself. And I would do it for a month, that’s all.
So today is Day 1. For the uninitiated, South Beach requires you to strip away all carbs and sugar for two full weeks. Basically, you have to eat lean meat (chicken, fish, turkey, etc.), eggs and vegetables, with one serving of dairy a day. And no, you don’t get to eat bacon three times a day. Or giant slabs of steak smothered in butter.
I’ve done this sucker at least five times and I know the drill. I know that by the third day, I won’t even remember bread’s name. We’ll pass each other on the street and I won’t have the urge to take a hunk out of its shoulder or tackle it to the ground and smother it with peanut butter. Or toast it and place a sunny-side up egg on top, maybe with a slice of bacon or… ok, I need to stop.
Like I said, day three will be easy. But this is Day 1. Wish me luck.