A Warning and a Song

Since I have the benefit of writing to you from the future (17 hours ahead – you’d be surprised how much this helps when satellite betting during March Madness), I feel it is my duty to warn you about certain negative aspects of the future that you may be able to avoid – if you heed my advice.  I’m Jacob Marley, you’re Ebenezer Scrooge.  Listen up.

Today’s lesson – DON’T MAKE A NEW, UNTESTED RECIPE FOR CHRISTMAS DINNER – especially one you saw a professional make in a 10 minute TV segment.  I see you now, you’re elbow deep in batter and you’re thinking, “um, no see – when Nigella made this it was so simple and it came out so perfectly.  I know that when I make this recipe it will make up for a year of feeding my family frozen pizzas, and I will be thrust into the domestic hall of fame.”  Well I’m here to tell you, it did not work out well. You are not Nigella. There is a reason you live on frozen pizzas. It’s because you suck at cooking.

oprahExhibit A: Oprah’s favorite Cornbread Stuffing.  Why I decided it was a good idea to screw with the most important dish on the table, I have no idea. I wait all year for the butter, fluffy goodness.  Why did I need to get on my sassy-horse?

Thankfully my good-natured husband was willing to play along and when we served it to guests, we convinced them it was an okay version of “cornbread pudding,” whatever the f that is.  He even ate some.

So now Christmas is upon us, and culinary sins have been forgiven (if not forgotten). The other day Decorno published a list and samples of her favorite Christmas Songs.  I’ve been thinking it over, and couldn’t come up with a favorite.  And then last night, sitting around the table eating a delicious Christmas feast (sans pudding), my true favorite started playing.  “Christmas Song” by Dave Matthews. It doesn’t fall into the Frank Sinatra/Festivus sort of Christmas.  It’s much more religious, which is an interesting pick for me, since I am not.  It speaks about Jesus, in a way that the trimming and the gifts and the gluttonous feast sort of fade away to the background of the day.  It is about the humanity of the man for whom we celebrate this day.  Merry Christmas!

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