Kicking off Chicago week, we’ve been searching the blogosphere high and low for new Chicago friends for Ollie. Not as easy as you think. She is a…special…type of girl. It would be easier for me to just post flyers around the town and run a sort of 8-minute speeding friend-ing service for her:
Femme seeking female or gay male blogger bosom buddy. Must be easily seduced by good guacamole, chivalry and really hot wallpaper.
You be: Witty with a healthy dollop of sarcasm, have an affinity for fine wines and long walks to the fridge.
She’ll be: your new BFF.
After a frightening journey to the personals section of Craigslist, (seriously can’t they get an intern to monitor the nudity over there?) I felt there had to be a better way. Thankfully, I came across this Chicago Blog Map, listing bloggers in Chicago by their train stops.
This will definitely prove a useful stalking tool in her efforts to secure new friends. That way she can find them on the train, follow them for a couple days, make sure they have good taste in shoes. Then make introductions.
I’ve narrowed it down to three.
Amanda from Midwestern Lovely … First of all, I hear “midwestern” and I think “won’t spike my drink with GHB and steal my boyfriend.” I hear “Lovely” and I think “excellent wingwoman.” Promising start.
1. Because she runs marathons and Ollie, you could use a workout buddy.
2. Because she had a pet squirrel. Although I’m doubtful that he was of the crazy rabid stalker urban variety that used to live on our street in West LA. Still, you could swap stories. And bite scars.
3. Because she seriously rocks some homespun fingerless gloves (oh wait, that’s why I wanna be friends with her.) She could show you how to knit me some. Christmas is only 5.5 months away.
And since the whole point of moving away from LA was to get away from the CRAZY, I bet she’s like a tall drink of fly-over-state H20. Drink up.
Candidate Numero Deuce:
Jessica from My Everyday Adventures in the City.
Things you two have in common:
1. Have been known to steal candy from children.
2. Would make an excellent stand-up comedienne, high school guidance counsellor, or game-show host.
3. Have issues with parents calling you at work. Video chat really takes this problem to a whole new level, and perhaps the story about your mom hiding (on-screen) from your looky-loo co-workers while wearing a bathrobe and curlers could help Jessica put her parent-phone issues in perspective.
My intuition tells me she knows where all the best vintage shopping is. Consider yourselves introduced.
I can tell that Jen from Run Jen Run is a firecracker, and not just because of that ‘do. And not just because she tap dances in what appears to be belted underwear.
Much like you, Ollie, Jen:
1. Seems to be a tad paranoid that the world is conspiring against her.
2. Although childless, you both share similar parenting philosophies focusing on the disciplining of rogue parents. (Revolutionary!)
3. You both have a love / hate relationship with California, or at least with it’s native produce.
I’d wager Jen is stalker-worthy.
Let me know who has the best shoes. Snap some cell phone pics and upload ’em and we’ll put it to a vote! Ok, creepy.