Whoa. First of all, let me apologize. I had no idea things had gotten this bad. I guess I just assumed when you left your interns on my doorstep, all bundled up and shivering like poor little lost angels, that you were just off for the usual- to the lodge for quality time with Gunner or to try out that new spa resort in Phoenix you’ve been going on about. If I had known that there was such pain and wild panic behind those Bulgari sunglasses of yours (available at Neiman Marcus Online), please know that I would’ve offered my assistance much sooner.
First of all, breathe. It’s going to be ok. There’s no need to pull an online version of Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood– leaving your computer, your mouse, your bookmarks and hello, me, behind so you can sit in a seaside motel for three days in a silk nightgown and your best coat, only to call me and tell me you’re comin’ home and are gonna make shrimp for supper. There will be none of that. Put down the espresso and inhale. I’m a Libra. I can get you through this.
There’s me, all chillax and cerebral and what not. I’m all like, Whoa, girl, settle. Libras get balance. It’s what we do.
I understand the overwhelmingness going on. The Internet is a vast and splendid meadow, full of meandering brooks and paths and pockets of pure pleasure and delight. Once you catch a whiff of RSS feeds and Blogrolls and link-happy posters (like yours truly), it can snowball on you. I’ve been there.
The trick to peaceful and balanced Media Usage is two-fold.
First, create a list of the sites and applications and programs you cannot do without on a daily basis. If you like keeping things tidy and therefore all on your desktop, I recommend the Numbers Checklist template (Cones and I are ga-ga for Mac. For you PCers, Numbers is the Apple version of Excel.).
If, like me, you prefer to write by hand and drool over fancy, thick stock paper that’s been etched, stained and watermarked within an inch of its life, check out Caufield Parcel. Even the name of the store makes me tingly all over.
Now, go for your bookmarks. Create folders within bookmarks for easy cataloging. Then, go to your iGoogle personalized homepage (Cones and I are also whores for Google) and dive into Google Reader. One-stop shop for your daily reads. All you do is subscribe to your favorite blogs (cough Subscribe to Creme cough) and websites that are updated daily and then check back in occasionally. It’ll collect and display all the new posts, minimizing all that agonizing clicking to a healthy TWO. Look at that, Cones, I just saved you forty-five minutes out of your day right there. No more maze. One stop shopping. The Tarjay of the web.
Now that you’ve created your centralized hub for daily goodness, you need to adopt a Zen-like philosophy when it comes to the web. Essentially, beautiful and heart-stopping blogs and websites will come to you when you’re ready for them, you need not seek them out. They’re not going anywhere. And maybe someday there will be a single place where you can go and learn about the new, fantastical wonders of the web. Where new and delicious sites are easy to find and made idiot-proof by bloggers with time on their hands between cocktails.
Oh. Wait. That’s us. Well, regardless, do not fret, pet. Eventually things will settle down and the world will right itself one more. Until then, I’ll be here, feeding broth and spraying fake tans on your dear little interns, who are quite pale, excitedly awaiting what new joy the Interweb will drop in our laps next.