The Creme Girls: Allow us to introduce ourselves

The Cones

The Cones is currently running 4 different writing projects and 2 fashion companies from her new reclining couch. Thank god for eager unpaid interns who can take dictation.  Mwah, love you guys.

What word brings you the most joy when you get to use it in actual conversation? Not a particular word per se, but I love a perfectly phrased analogy. Sometimes analogies or metaphors can express sentiments better than any single descriptive word. Other than that, I like a hearty Mother F**ker every now and then.

Favorite place on earth? Torrey Pines Road, traveling from La Jolla to Del Mar, California. There is a mile and a half stretch of beach road where I vibrate happiness down to a cellular level. Get your mind out of my gutter.

If you could only see one color for the rest of your life, how would you drive? Ollie, WTF kind of question is this?  Wouldn’t I just bump into everything?

Describe one event that makes you cringe in retrospect. High school.  No I am not kidding.  I ate in the nurse’s office daily.

What reality TV person are you most like? Elizabeth Hasselbeck.  Fake blonde, ditsy, totally unqualified, and a mouthpiece for the right.

Favorite re-read? The Secret. All you Oprah-haters can bite me.  How do you think I manifested my wealthy husband who supports my blogging addiction?  Also Gone with the Wind. I like a woman with a plan.

Favorite Ollie Oof memory? I’m fuzzy on the details, but it involved a campsite, a fifth of whisky, herbs, and Ollie declaring how funny she was in her own mind, and how lucky she was that she could entertain herself all on her own. She was also clutching the marshmallows and accusingly screaming at everyone else for hiding them from her cause where the hell were they???

——–

Ollie Oof

Ollie just did the math and figured out that between emails, IM, her three blogs, her day job as a copywriter, and a novel-in-progress she writes for 8.5 solid hours a day. She’s slowly coming to grips with how narcissistic that is. She not so secretly loves giving the perfect gift, shaggy dogs, good restaurants, cooking and conquering new cities.

If you were a dress, what would you look like? A knee-length, low cut, cerulean wrap dress made in the world’s most forgiving, wrinkle-free fabric.

If you had a trust fund covering all your current monthly expenses, what would you do with your time? Aside from constantly reminding my friends how rich I am? I’d still be writing because I can’t seem to do anything else. I’d go to the supermarket every single day. I’ll always have a trip planned. I’d talk to Oprah every day (you can do that when you’re rich, right?) And I’d constantly be on the phone with my accountants and investors to make sure my 401K is doing all right and oh my god somewhere my father is so proud of me right now.

Best meal you ever ate? Vegetable Soup en Provecal. I made it myself and it was the first meal that signified my body and I were at no longer at war (The War of the Diet 1992-2007)

If you could introduce one new tradition to weddings, what would it be?  (From the guests’ perspective.) Single people could get legally married to their careers. That way, even if they don’t marry “a person” they can still hit up their friends and relatives for money, pots, pans, sheets, and towels (you people owe me and I plan to collect)

Best trip you’ve ever taken? Rome. It changed my life.

Favorite Cones Memory? Catalina campground. The Cones is asleep on a mattress outside our tent-cabin. Two ten year old Girl Scouts wander over and hesitantly ask her if this is the “Petauket Cabin”. Cones sits up in her red hoodie, literally surrounded by cups of wine, cigarette butts, firewood and a whiskey bottle, mumbles something incoherent to them and falls back onto the bed. Girls run away.

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Music Contributor Dusty Lymric

Secret Fetish? Selling roommate’s designer clothes to Buffalo Exchange.
Day job / Primary source for income? Disgruntled executive assistant to Music Exec.  But my primary income comes from passing along potential signee bands to competitor labels.
Annoying Habit(s)? Taking a bite of someone else’s dish before they get a chance to find their fork. Also giving friends my old jeans, declaring that they are too big for me when they are really too small so they feel like a fat asses.
Admittedly troubling behavior? Finding unique ways to disguise the hard liquor on which I nurse.
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